glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
