the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I woke up under a house in Key West
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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