I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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