Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Found the puke drawer
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
