Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
