I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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