I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
