Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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