We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
