She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
