At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
