You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
