And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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