don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
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