dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
