I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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