Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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