But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
