she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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