THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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