And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
