I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
