Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
