I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
