The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
