My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize