Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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