I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
