I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
