Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
