Sry I called you an 8
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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