Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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