Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This house was built for laser tag.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
