when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
When are your genitals available?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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