She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize