yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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