I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize