i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
