do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
