He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
