so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
