i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
