So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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