I faked an abortion last night.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
