I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
