Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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