I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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