There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
