the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
