why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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