Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
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