I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
