Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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