i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
And then he peed in my hair
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