just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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