i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
