you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I will pee on everything he values.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
