he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
