Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
