why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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