Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
