if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
