I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
