why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
