She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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