I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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